300 Short Dirty Jokes

Joke 161

Q: What do you call a cake made by a prostitute?

A: Ho-made.

Joke 162

Q: What does a dumb slut say when you ask if she’s ever tried 69?

A: Forty dudes is the most I can screw in one night.

Joke 163

Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other after sex?

A: See you next month…

Joke 164

Q: What do women’s panties and nail polish have in common?

A: They both come off with alcohol.

Joke 165

Q: What’s the worst bird to give head to?

A: A woodpecker.

Joke 166

Q: What’s the similarity between a grenade and a wife?

A: If you take the ring off,  the house explodes.

Joke 167

Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: The piano doesn’t smell like pussy.

Joke 168

Q: How do you make a pound of fat look good?

A: Put a nipple on it.

Joke 169

Q: How is a girlfriend like a laxative?

A: They both irritate the shit out of you.

Joke 170

Q: What do a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?

A: A wet nose.

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Joke 171

Q: What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato?

A: A dictator.

Joke 172

Q: Why shouldn’t you give your girlfriend a second chance?

A: Because your girlfriend sucks at giving blowjob, and you give her a second chance, she still blows it.

Joke 173

Q: What part of the human rights women doesn’t like?

A: When a cop says “you have the right to remain silent”.

Joke 174

Q(a): What do you have when you’ve got two nuts on your chest?

A(a): Chestnuts.

Q(b): What do you have when you’ve got two nuts on your chin?

A(b): A dick in your mouth.

Joke 175

Q: Why is the penis called a bad part of the human body?

A: Because it has a head with no brain, hangs out with two nuts and lives on the opposite side of an asshole!

Joke 176

Q: What do dicks and spiders have in common?

A: People always exaggerate how big they are.

Joke 177

Q: Why is orange mad at yellow?

A: Because yellow blue green ( yellow blew green)

Joke 178

Q: What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

A: When you get fucked by your job, there are no benefits!

Joke 179

Q: What did the cookie say while getting a blowjob?

A: Ohhhh… you’re gonna make me crumb!

Joke 180

Q: How do you know your house has been built by lesbians?

A: There are no studs, it’s all tongue and groove.

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