Q: What do you call a cake made by a prostitute?
Q: What does a dumb slut say when you ask if she’s ever tried 69?
A: Forty dudes is the most I can screw in one night.
Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other after sex?
A: See you next month…
Q: What do women’s panties and nail polish have in common?
A: They both come off with alcohol.
Q: What’s the worst bird to give head to?
A: A woodpecker.
Q: What’s the similarity between a grenade and a wife?
A: If you take the ring off, the house explodes.
Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: The piano doesn’t smell like pussy.
Q: How do you make a pound of fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it.
Q: How is a girlfriend like a laxative?
A: They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q: What do a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
A: A wet nose.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato?
A: A dictator.
Q: Why shouldn’t you give your girlfriend a second chance?
A: Because your girlfriend sucks at giving blowjob, and you give her a second chance, she still blows it.
Q: What part of the human rights women doesn’t like?
A: When a cop says “you have the right to remain silent”.
Q(a): What do you have when you’ve got two nuts on your chest?
Q(b): What do you have when you’ve got two nuts on your chin?
A(b): A dick in your mouth.
Q: Why is the penis called a bad part of the human body?
A: Because it has a head with no brain, hangs out with two nuts and lives on the opposite side of an asshole!
Q: What do dicks and spiders have in common?
A: People always exaggerate how big they are.
Q: Why is orange mad at yellow?
A: Because yellow blue green ( yellow blew green)
Q: What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
A: When you get fucked by your job, there are no benefits!
Q: What did the cookie say while getting a blowjob?
A: Ohhhh… you’re gonna make me crumb!
Q: How do you know your house has been built by lesbians?
A: There are no studs, it’s all tongue and groove.