Q: Why is masturbation just like procrastination?
A: It’s all good until you realize you’re only screwing yourself.
Q: Why do hunters make the best lovers?
A: They go deep in the bush, they shoot more than once and they always eat what they shoot.
Q: What does it mean if a man remembers the colour of a woman’s eyes after a first date?
A: She’s got small tits.
Q: What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?
A: A tearjerker.
Q: What is the difference between a hooker and a clown?
A: A clown gets paid to come while the hooker gets paid to make people cum.
Q: Why do people hate thongs?
A: Because they’re stuck up assholes!
Q: Which bird is the best at giving head?
A: A swallow.
Q: Why was he sacked from a job?
A: Because he was always hard at his job.
Q: Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with?
A: Damn right anything for family…
Q: What is the favourite drink of a prostitute?
A: A Cocktail.
Q: What do an employee and a porn star get in common?
A: They both get fucked in different ways.
Q: What do genders and the twin towers have in common?
A: There were 2 at first but now it’s a sensitive topic.
Q: How is Kentucky Fried Chicken a woman the same?
A: Once you take away the legs and the breasts you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone-in.
Q: What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
A: The refrigerator doesn’t fart when you take your meat out.
Q: How did you quit smoking?
A: I decided to smoke only after oral sex.
Q: What do you call a baby born in a whorehouse?
A: A Brothel Sprout.
Q: What’s funnier than being raped?
A: Being raped by a clown.
Q: What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
A: Thanks for coming!
Q: Do you know the dirtiest joke I’ve ever heard?
A: The boy jumped in the mud.
Q: What did a girl understand when a guy told: “Now you won’t see me for a while”.
A: Turn the other side.