Q: How do you convince a woman to have sex with you when she has a headache?
A: Sprinkle crushed aspirin on your cock.
Q: What do a woman and a bank account have in common?
A: Once you withdraw you lose interest.
Q: Why is it very difficult for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q: What’s the speed limit of sex?
A: 68, at 69 you have to turn around.
Q: Why do they say that eating yoghurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
A: Because if you can eat that stuff, you could eat anything.
Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: They both have manholes.
Q: Why do blondes don’t talk while making love?
A: Their moms told them not to talk to strangers.
Q: What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
A: They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
Q: How is a stuttering child born?
A: When a pregnant woman uses vibrators.
Q: What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis?
A: A man.
Q: Why should you never get into your wife’s way?
A: Because she is driving.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with long finger nails?
A: Still Single.
Q: What did one of the prostitute’s knees say to the other?
A: How come we spend so little time together?
Q: How is life like toilet paper?
A: You’re either constantly on a roll or taking shit from someone.
Q: Why is Santa’s sack so big?
A: Because he only cums once a year. (Comes)
Q: What is six inches and keeps a woman in bed all day?
Q: Why is my penis the perfect gentleman?
A: Because it never fails to stand up to give a woman somewhere to sit.
Q: Why couldn’t the tissue paper cross the road?
A: It got stuck in the crack.
Q: What do an airport and a prostitute have in common?
A: They both ask you to put your liquids into a little plastic bag.
Q: When was the last time you had a mixed feeling?
A: When I saw my mother-in-law backing off a cliff in my brand new Ferrari car.