300 Short Dirty Jokes

Joke 81

Q: What’s the best part about gardening?

A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

Joke 82

Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?

A: They can both smell but they can’t eat.

Joke 83

Q. What does a guy think taking a shit at 11:59 and the clock struck midnight?

A: Same shit different day.

Joke 84

Q: What do Oreos and women have in common?

A: I like to open them and lick the creamy goodness inside.

Joke 85

Q: When are rape and shoplifting is considered similar?

A: When you have sex with a prostitute without her permission. 

Joke 86

Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision? 

A: A rip-off.

Joke 87

Q: Do you want to hear a joke about my vagina?
A: Never mind. You’ll never get it!

Joke 88

Q: Why couldn’t they close the casket of one New Yorker?

A: Because he died of a Viagra overdose.

Joke 89

Q: What is the biggest mistake that your parents ever did?

A: You.

Joke 90

Q: What do oral sex with an ugly woman and rock climbing have in common?

A: They‘re both more enjoyable until you look down.

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Joke 91

Q: Why did the butcher go to the hospital?
A: He cut the wrong sausage.

Joke 92

Q: What is the difference between a job and a dead prostitute?

A: A job still sucks.

Joke 93

Q: Why do blonde women get confused in the toilet?
A: Because they have to pull their own pants down.

Joke 94

Q: Why should you never hold in your farts?

A: Because they can go up your spine, into your brain and give you shitty ideas.

Joke 95

Q: Why did the blond girl have a bruised belly button?

A: Because her blonde husband took belly button for a pussy.

Joke 96

Q: What’s the best thing about getting a blow job from your girlfriend?

A: 5 minutes of silence.

Joke 97

Q: How do you know you have a high sperm count?

A: Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

Joke 98

Q: How are gay people like mice?

A: They both hate pussies.

Joke 99

Q: Why don’t little girls fart?

A: They don’t get assholes till they’re married.

Joke 100

Q: What have men and floor tiles got in common?

A: If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them without any problem for life.

12-Minute Affiliate