300 Short Dirty Jokes

Joke 61

Q: What’s the difference between a whore and a bitch? 

A: A whore blows everybody at the party, and a bitch blows everybody at the party except you.

Joke 62

Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to sleep with?

A: When you pull her pants down, and her butt is still in them.

Joke 63

Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?

A: Good morning ladies.

Joke 64

Q: What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains all the letters p,e,n,i,s?

A: Spine.

Joke 65

Q: Why do tampons have no friends?

A: Because they’re stuck up cunts.

Joke 66

Q: Why did my lesbian neighbours gave me a Rolex for my birthday?

A: Because they misunderstood when I said: “I wanna watch”.

Joke 67

Q: Why is a Penis lightest things in the world?

A: Even thoughts can raise them.

Joke 68

Q: What do you call a virgin on a water bed?

A: A cherry float.

Joke 69

Q: What’s the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple?

A: Pimples don’t come on a boy’s face until they’re 13.

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Joke 70

Q: Why is the penis the saddest part of the human body?

A: Because it’s hair is a mess, it’s best friend is a pussy and its next-door neighbour is an asshole.

Joke 71

Q: What do a Rubik’s cube and a penis have in common? 

A: The longer you play with, the harder they get.

Joke 72

Q: What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Joke 73

Q: How is a woman like a condom?

A: Both spend more time in your wallet than your dick.

Joke 74

Q: What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? 

A: The taste!

Joke 75

Q: What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? 

A: Finding out it was traced.

Joke 76

Q: What’s worse than waking up with an empty wallet and a sore head?

A: Waking up with a full wallet and a sore ass.

Joke 77

Q: When is a surprise blowjob not enjoyable?

A: When you’re in prison.

Joke 78

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A: How do you manage to breathe through something that small?

Joke 79

Q: What do you call two fat people talking?

A: A heavy discussion.

Joke 80

Q: Why do women make better soldiers? 

A: Because they can bleed for a week and still don’t die.

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