Q: What’s the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore blows everybody at the party, and a bitch blows everybody at the party except you.
Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to sleep with?
A: When you pull her pants down, and her butt is still in them.
Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
A: Good morning ladies.
Q: What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains all the letters p,e,n,i,s?
Q: Why do tampons have no friends?
A: Because they’re stuck up cunts.
Q: Why did my lesbian neighbours gave me a Rolex for my birthday?
A: Because they misunderstood when I said: “I wanna watch”.
Q: Why is a Penis lightest things in the world?
A: Even thoughts can raise them.
Q: What do you call a virgin on a water bed?
A: A cherry float.
Q: What’s the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple?
A: Pimples don’t come on a boy’s face until they’re 13.
Q: Why is the penis the saddest part of the human body?
A: Because it’s hair is a mess, it’s best friend is a pussy and its next-door neighbour is an asshole.
Q: What do a Rubik’s cube and a penis have in common?
A: The longer you play with, the harder they get.
Q: What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than your dick.
Q: What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste!
Q: What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?
A: Finding out it was traced.
Q: What’s worse than waking up with an empty wallet and a sore head?
A: Waking up with a full wallet and a sore ass.
Q: When is a surprise blowjob not enjoyable?
A: When you’re in prison.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you manage to breathe through something that small?
Q: What do you call two fat people talking?
A: A heavy discussion.
Q: Why do women make better soldiers?
A: Because they can bleed for a week and still don’t die.