300 Short Dirty Jokes

Joke 41

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

A: Hold on to your nuts, this isn’t any ordinary blow job.

Joke 42

Q:  Why do men name their penises?

A:  Because they don’t like the idea of having a stranger make 90 percent of their decisions.

Joke 43

Q: What do the Mafia and Pussies have in common?

A: One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

Joke 44

Q: What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?

A: Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.

Joke 45

Q: How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

A: As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

Joke 46

Q: What does an 80-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 20-year-old doesn’t?

A: Her navel.

Joke 47

Q: How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?

A: The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.

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Joke 48

Q: What did the O say to the Q?

A: Hey, your dick’s hanging out.

Joke 49

Q: What three words will ruin any man’s ego?

A: “Is it in?”

Joke 50

Q: What do bungee jumping and prostitutes have in common?

A: They both cost several hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.

Joke 51

Q: What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?

A: Chewing gum.

Joke 52

Q: What do priests and Burger King have in common?

A: They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

Joke 53

Q:  How can you tell when a car mechanic just had sex? 

A: One of his fingers is clean.

Joke 54

Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

A: Because he was fingering A minor.

Joke 55

Q: Why is having sex in an elevator is wrong.
A: Because it has so many levels.

Joke 56

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?

A: Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

Joke 57

Q: Why can’t you hear a psychologist using the bathroom?

A: Because the ‘p’ is silent.

Joke 58

Q: Why is men’s voice louder than that of women? 

A: Men have an antenna.

Joke 59

Q: What’s a good example of sexual indiscrimination?

A: If a man talks dirty to a woman, that’s sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that’ll be $4.99 a minute.

Joke 60

Q: What would you do if you got approached by a prostitute who said that she would do anything for $10.

A: Get your car washed.

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