Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this isn’t any ordinary blow job.
Q: Why do men name their penises?
A: Because they don’t like the idea of having a stranger make 90 percent of their decisions.
Q: What do the Mafia and Pussies have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
Q: What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?
A: Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
Q: How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
A: As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Q: What does an 80-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 20-year-old doesn’t?
A: Her navel.
Q: How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
A: The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
Q: What did the O say to the Q?
A: Hey, your dick’s hanging out.
Q: What three words will ruin any man’s ego?
A: “Is it in?”
Q: What do bungee jumping and prostitutes have in common?
A: They both cost several hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.
Q: What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?
A: Chewing gum.
Q: What do priests and Burger King have in common?
A: They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Q: How can you tell when a car mechanic just had sex?
A: One of his fingers is clean.
Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
A: Because he was fingering A minor.
Q: Why is having sex in an elevator is wrong.
A: Because it has so many levels.
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.
Q: Why can’t you hear a psychologist using the bathroom?
A: Because the ‘p’ is silent.
Q: Why is men’s voice louder than that of women?
A: Men have an antenna.
Q: What’s a good example of sexual indiscrimination?
A: If a man talks dirty to a woman, that’s sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that’ll be $4.99 a minute.
Q: What would you do if you got approached by a prostitute who said that she would do anything for $10.
A: Get your car washed.