Q: What’s the difference between oral and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, Anal makes your hole weak.
Q: What’s a man’s definition of a romantic evening?
A: Sex after Blowjob.
Q: What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A: Condoms have evolved over time, they’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have something in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes.
Q: What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
A: I’ve never had a lentil on my face. (chickpea: Chick-Pee)
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!
Q: What’s the difference between a G-spot and a Golf Ball?
A: A guy will succeed in finding a golf ball.
Q: What’s the difference between being hungry and being horny?
A: Where you put your cucumber.
Q: What do girls and noodles have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them
Q: What’s the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?
A: The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.
Q: What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After ten years, your job will still suck.
Q: How is exercise effective for a man on the beach?
A: Because he sucks his stomach every time he sees a bikini.
Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one single egg?
A: Because none of the sperm will stop and ask for directions.
Q: How are men similar to diapers?
A: They’re usually full of crap, but thankfully disposable.
Q: What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don’t get any support, people will think we’re nuts.
Q: Why did God create orgasms’?
A: So women can moan even when they’re happy.
Q: What’s the difference between your bonus and your dick?
A: You don’t have to constantly beg a woman to blow your bonus.
Q: What’s another name for a vagina?
A: The box a penis comes in.
Q: Who was the world’s first farmer?
A: Eve, because she made Adam’s banana grow bigger.
Q: Why doctors suggest penis for breakfast?
A: Because it has a mushroom head, a hotdog, two eggs and cream, which provides all the nutrients necessary to make a woman healthy.