Q: Why are women incapable of taking accurate measurements?
A: Because they’ve lied to their whole lives what 6 inches look like.
Q: Why is life better with women?
A: Because without them, men would have a pain in the ass.
Q: What’s a 6.9?
A: Another great thing screwed up by a period.
Q: How can a girlfriend make her boyfriend feel awesome and sad at the same time?
A: When she says “Out of all your friends you have the biggest penis”.
Q: What’s common between a Baby and a Return policy?
A: Baby is just your wife’s way of returning your sperm.
Q: What’s the best thing about being a paedophile on Halloween?
A: Free home delivery.
Q: What did the balls say to the dick?
A: The guy in the back is an asshole.
Q: What is the benefit of having group sex?
A. If you have something to do, you can leave at any time, no one will notice.
Q: When do you don’t take any Family Discounts?
A: When you are at a brothel to fuck hookers.
Q: What does a west Virginian girl say after sex?
A: Get off me Daddy, you’re crushing my cigarettes.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy.
Q: What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam?
A: I can’t peanut butter my dick into your ass.
Q: You wanna hear a dirty joke?
A: A boy in a white shirt fell in the mud.
Q: Why does dog hate cat?
A: Because a dog is homosexual and does not want pussy.
Q: Where did the suicide bomber go?
A: All over the place.
Q: What does a witch say when she’s alone with her wand?
A: Wingardium Levios- ahhn!
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: How does natural selection differ from sexual selection?
A: In distinction to natural selection, sexual selection may be natural, unnatural, or perverted.
Q: Why can’t a vampire ‘accidentally’ knock you up?
A: They can’t come in without permission.
Q: What do you call a German virgin?