300 Short Dirty Jokes

Joke 261

Q: Why are women incapable of taking accurate measurements?

A: Because they’ve lied to their whole lives what 6 inches look like.

Joke 262

Q: Why is life better with women?

A: Because without them, men would have a pain in the ass.

Joke 263

Q: What’s a 6.9?
A: Another great thing screwed up by a period.

Joke 264

Q: How can a girlfriend make her boyfriend feel awesome and sad at the same time?

A: When she says “Out of all your friends you have the biggest penis”.

Joke 265

Q: What’s common between a Baby and a Return policy?

A: Baby is just your wife’s way of returning your sperm.

Joke 266

Q: What’s the best thing about being a paedophile on Halloween?

A: Free home delivery.

Joke 267

Q: What did the balls say to the dick?

A: The guy in the back is an asshole.

Joke 268

Q: What is the benefit of having group sex?

A. If you have something to do, you can leave at any time, no one will notice.

Joke 269

Q: When do you don’t take any Family Discounts?

A: When you are at a brothel to fuck hookers.

Joke 270

Q: What does a west Virginian girl say after sex?

A: Get off me Daddy, you’re crushing my cigarettes.

Joke 271

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?

A: Dress her up as an altar boy.

Joke 272

Q: What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam?

A: I can’t peanut butter my dick into your ass.

Joke 273

Q: You wanna hear a dirty joke?

A: A boy in a white shirt fell in the mud.

Joke 274

Q: Why does dog hate cat?

A: Because a dog is homosexual and does not want pussy.

Joke 275

Q: Where did the suicide bomber go?

A: All over the place.

Joke 276

Q: What does a witch say when she’s alone with her wand?

A: Wingardium Levios- ahhn!

Joke 277

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Joke 278

Q: How does natural selection differ from sexual selection?

A: In distinction to natural selection, sexual selection may be natural, unnatural, or perverted.

Joke 279

Q: Why can’t a vampire ‘accidentally’ knock you up?

A: They can’t come in without permission.

Joke 280

Q: What do you call a German virgin?

A:  Gutentite.

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