300 Short Dirty Jokes

Joke 241

Q: What is the definition of eternity?

A: The time difference between when you cum and she leaves.

Joke 242

Q: Why was his girlfriend angry at him?

A: Because when his girlfriend asked him “Am I pretty or am I ugly?”, he replied “You’re pretty ugly”.

Joke 243

Q: What is the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

A: Deer balls, they’re under a buck.

Joke 244

Q: Why was he suspended from his mathematics class?

A: Because when asked “What comes after 69?”, he replied “Mouthwash”.

Joke 245

Q: What do you call a boner you get at a funeral?

A: Mourning wood.

Joke 246

Q: What’s the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter.

A: Harry Potter could leave the chamber.

Joke 247

Q: Why do Jewish women love Jewish penises?

A: Because they’re 20% off.

Joke 248

Q: How are a man and a Tuba similar?

A: You blow them both.

Joke 249

Q: Why are work breaks are like penises?

A: You look forward to them, but they’re never long enough.

Joke 250

Q: Why for this man it was impossible to rape himself?

A: Because he was so ugly even his hands won’t fuck him.

Joke 251

Q: Why was my dad arrested yesterday?

A: Because he went to a beauty competition and came in the first place.

Joke 252

Q: What do you call it when an unvaccinated 2 years old throws a temper tantrum?

A: A mid-life crisis.

Joke 253

Q: Why couldn’t the fortune teller get pregnant?

A: Because her husband had crystal balls.

Joke 254

Q: What’s the best thing about having a Vegan girlfriend?

A: She can still suck your dick even if you have a fungus infection.

Joke 255

Q: What do you call an IT teacher who touches their students?

A: A PDF File.

Joke 256

Q: Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware Party?

A: He was looking for a tight seal.

Joke 257

Q: What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?

A:  A Quarter-Pounder with cheese.

Joke 258

Q: What did the postman say to the transgender man?

A: Package delivery.

Joke 259

Q: What does a pirate do when he has sex?

A: He has an arrrrgasm.

Joke 260

Q: What do a chipmunk and a prostitute have in common?

A: Both fill their cheeks with nuts.

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