300 Short Dirty Jokes

Joke 201

Q: Why do midgets hate crowded elevators?

A: Because crowded elevators smell different.

Joke 202

Q: What did one gay sperm cell say to the other gay sperm cell?

A: We are a bunch of wrong men for the right job.

Joke 203

Q: What’s the difference between a microwave and anal sex?

A: In anal sex, you can brown your meat without cooking it.

Joke 204

Q: Why did the ketchup blush?

A: He saw the salad dressing.

Joke 205

Q: What do you have when you’ve got two nuts on your wall? 

A: Walnuts.

Joke 206

Q: What’s long, stiff and goes in and out and admired by many women?

A: A Lipstick!

Joke 207

Q: How is sex is a bit like math?

A: Because you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don’t multiply.

Joke 208

Q: Why wasn’t a boyfriend happy when his girlfriend said: “I shaved my pussy, you know what that means?”

A: Because the drain is clogged again.

Joke 209

Q: What do you call a deaf gynaecologist?

A: A lip reader.

Joke 210

Q: Why do you wish your woman to be like coffee?

A: Because it’s better when they are hot, wet and filled with cream.

Joke 211

Q: Why is True Love like a Fart?

A: Because if you have to force it, it’s probably shit.

Joke 212

Q: What do vaginas and the weather have in common?

A: When it’s wet you should go inside.

Joke 213

Q: What do you call a fat girl with a rape wish?

A: Optimistic

Joke 214

Q: Who was the greatest prostitute in history?

A: Mrs Packman, for 25 cents she’d swallow balls until she died.

Joke 215

Q: How are fat chicks and scooters alike?

A: They’re fun to ride until your friends see you on one.

Joke 216

Q: How can you tell if you are at a gay BBQ.

A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.

Joke 217

Q: Why do doctors smack newborn babies on the ass?

A: To knock the dicks off the stupid ones.

Joke 218

Q: Why did the condom fly across the room during sex?

A: It was pissed off.

Joke 219

Q: What did one gay astronaut say to the other gay astronaut?

A: I want to visit Uranus. (Ur-anus)

Joke 220

Q: What’s the difference between a dead hooker and most of the jokes on this website – funnyjokes123.com?

A: The dead hooker doesn’t suck anymore.

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