300 Short Dirty Jokes

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Joke 1

Q:  What do toys and women’s breasts have in common?

A:  They were both originally made for kids, but the kid’s dad ends up playing more with.

Joke 2

Q:  What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?

A:  A $100 bill.

Joke 3

Q:  What’s the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?

A:  You don’t have to blow your whole salary to put mean in a refrigerator.

Joke 4

Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?

A:  They can’t tolerate seeing a man having a good time.

Joke 5

Q:  Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A:  Because they don’t have balls to rub.

Joke 6

Q:  Why do women talk so much? 

A:  Because they have two sets of lips.

Joke 7

Q: What is love’?

A:  The delusion that one woman differs from another. 

Joke 8

Q:  Why is life like a penis?

A:  Because women make it hard.

Joke 9

Q: Why was two-piece swimsuit invented?

A: To separate the hairy from the dairy.

Joke 10

Q:  Why are girls like monkeys and boys like rats? 

A:  Girls are like Monkeys because they fight only for Bananas, Boys and rats are same because they search only holes.

Joke 11

Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Joke 12

Q: What’s long and hard and full of semen?

A: A submarine. (Seamen)

Joke 13

Q: Why did God give men penises?

A: So they’d have only one successful way to shut a woman up.

Joke 14

Q: What’s easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

A: A Women.

Joke 15

Q: What did the penis say to the vagina?

A: I am about to come in there!

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Joke 16

Q: Why do vegetarians give good head?

A: Because they’re used to eating nuts.

Joke 17

Q: How is sex like a game of bridge?

A: If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.

Joke 18

Q: What is the best thing about dating homeless chicks?

A: You can drop them off anywhere.

Joke 19

Q: What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A: A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

Joke 20

Q: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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