25 Funny Inappropriate Jokes

Note: This Post – 25 Funny Inappropriate Jokes may comprise jokes that may offend you, therefore reader’s discretion is highly advised. Jokes in Funnyjokes123.com are for entertainment purpose only. These Funny Inappropriate Jokes do not intend to harm, criticize or insult any nationalities, tribes, groups, genders and ages. If you are under age 18, please close this page immediately.

Joke 1

An Englishman’s wife was in the mood to have some dark chocolates. So she asks her husband to go to the store to buy some dark chocolates, so he walks down to the store only to find it closed. 

Tired of searching any open stores, he is frustrated so he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar, he sees a beautiful American woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of drinks and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.

After they’ve had steamy sex several times, he realizes its 3 a.m. and says, “Oh no, it’s so late, my wife’s going to kill me.” 

He hurriedly goes to his home, takes his shoes outside and rubs them in the grass and mud, then proceeds to knock the door.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty mad. “Where the hell have you been this long?” “Well, honey, it’s like this. I went to the store as you asked, but all the stores were closed. 

So I went to the bar to use the vending machine for your dark chocolates. I saw this great-looking American lady there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another, then ended up in her apartment and had some good time.”

She sees his shoes are covered with grass and mud, then says, “You lying bastard!!! You’ve been fishing again!”


Joke 2

An English farmer is sitting in one of London’s bar getting drunk. 

An American comes in and asks the English farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk all by yourself?”

Farmer: “Some days are just bad, totally out of control.”

American: “So what happened that’s so horrible?”

Farmer: “Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.”

American: “0K, but that’s not so bad.”

Farmer: “Some days are just bad, totally out of control.”

American: “So what happened then?”

Farmer: “I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.”

American: “And then?”

Farmer: “Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.”

American: “Again?”

Farmer: “Some days are just bad, totally out of control.” 

American: “So, what did you do then?”

Farmer: “I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.”

American: “And then?”

Farmer: “Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.”

American: “Hmmm.

Farmer: “Some days are just bad, totally out of control.” 

American: “So, what did you do?”

Farmer: “Well, I didn’t have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. At that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in.”


Joke 3

One afternoon a young English girl wearing a skirt goes out to play with her friends.

She goes to the neighbourhood and meets a boy. They talk about climbing trees. The boy says to the girl, “I bet you can climb that tree.” The English girl climbs up the tree while the boy just stands there and looks up her skirt. 

After a while, the girl goes home and tells her mom how she spends her afternoon. Her mom says, “Oh my, stupid girl, he just wanted to stand there and look at your underpants. He just tricked you.”

The next day she goes out again with her skirt on and meets the same boy. He tells her if she could climb the tree again and she does.

When she gets home she tells her mom how she spends her afternoon, her mom says, “Oh, my, stupid girl, he just wanted to stand there and look at your underpants.”

The girl replies, “No, actually I tricked him this time. I didn’t wear any underpants!”


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Joke 4

An 18-year-old English girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party by herself. Since she was very attractive, she was a bit hesitant about what to do if boys approached her.

Her mother said, “It’s very easy my dear! Whenever a boy starts talking to you, you ask him, ‘What will be the name of our baby?’ That’ll scare them off after all boys are afraid of commitments.”

Then she went to the party. After a little while at the party, an English boy started dancing with her. Little by little he started kissing her and touching her. She asked him, “What will our baby be called?” The boy found some excuse and disappeared. 

Sometime later, the same thing happened again: An American boy started to kiss her neck and her shoulders. She stopped him and asked about the baby’s name, and he ran off.

Later on, another French boy invited her for a walk. After a few minutes, he started kissing her, and she asked him, “What will our baby be called?”

He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. “What will our baby be called?” she asked once more. He began to have sex with her. “What will our baby be called? !” she asked again.

After he was done, he took off his full condom, tied it in a knot, and said, “If he gets out of this one… Houdini – The Magician!”


Joke 5

At a college prom night, a guy from England asks a girl from France to dance.

While they are dancing, the English guy gives her a little squeeze, and says, “In England, we call this a hug.” She replies, “Yeah, in France we call it a hug too.”

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, “In England, we call this a kiss.” She replies, “Yeah, in France we call it a kiss too.”

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, the English guy takes her out to his car and proceeds to have sex with her, saying, “In England, we call this a grass sandwich.”

She says, “Yeah, in France we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it.”


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