Q: Why do some people eat snails?
A: It seems that they don’t like fast food.
Q: What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but you never see them.
Q: What has one horn and gives milk?
A: A milk truck.
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?
Q: Why don’t blind people skydive?
A: Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.
Q: What has a face and two hands but no arms, legs, or a body?
A: A clock.
Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look flushed.
Q: What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer?
A: A jeweller sells watches and a jailer watches cells.
Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
A: Because you dribble on the floor!
Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score.
Q: What did the nose say to the finger?
A: Quit picking on me!
Q: Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q: What is an astronaut’s favourite place on a computer?
A: The Spacebar!
Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: “Breathe, man! Breathe!”
Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
A: Drop him a line!
Q: What’s a balloon’s least favourite type of music?
Q: What concert costs 45 cents?
A: 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
Q: What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs?
A: A cloud!
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: To remind themselves that toes go in first.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath?
A: She still hasn’t gotten all the hair off her tongue.
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta
Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A: A yardvark!
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
A: To the Baa Baa shop!