200 Best Clean Jokes

Joke 101

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

A: Fingernails.

Joke 102

Q: Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?
A: Their bats flew away.

Joke 103

Q: Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day?

A: Because there are lots of fans.

Joke 104

Q: What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?

A: It gets toad away.

Joke 105

Q: What do cars eat on their toast?

A: Traffic jam.

Joke 106

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.

Joke 107

Q: Why didn’t the sailors play cards?

A: Because the captain was on the deck.

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Joke 108

Q: What do you do with a sick boat?

A: Take it to the doc.

Joke 109

Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

A: Because it’s pointless!

Joke 110

Q: Why does a cow wear a bell around its neck?

A: Because its horns don’t work.

Joke 111

Q: Why was a man’s head still okay when hit by a full can of Coke?

A: Because it was a soft drink.

Joke 112

Q: What did the magnet say to the other magnet?
A: I find you very attractive!

Joke 113

Q: What stays in one corner but travels around the world?

A: A stamp.

Joke 114

Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?

A: Sue.

Joke 115

Q: Why do pirates not know the alphabet?

A: They always get stuck at “c.”

Joke 116

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? 
A: Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Joke 117

Q: What is white when it’s dirty and black when it’s clean?

A: A chalkboard.

Joke 118

Q: Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own?

A: Because it’s two-tired.

Joke 119

Q: How do you create light by using water?

A: Clean the windows!

Joke 120

Q: What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer? 

A: They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

Joke 121

Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

A: “It’s pasture bedtime.”

Joke 122

Q: What did one ocean say to another ocean?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

Joke 123

Q: Why are vampires so easy to fool?

A: Because they are suckers.

Joke 124

Q: What do you call someone with no body and no nose? 

A: Nobody knows. 

Joke 125

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?

A: To get to the body shop.

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