Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Q: Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?
A: Their bats flew away.
Q: Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day?
A: Because there are lots of fans.
Q: What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
A: It gets toad away.
Q: What do cars eat on their toast?
A: Traffic jam.
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
Q: Why didn’t the sailors play cards?
A: Because the captain was on the deck.
Q: What do you do with a sick boat?
A: Take it to the doc.
Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless!
Q: Why does a cow wear a bell around its neck?
A: Because its horns don’t work.
Q: Why was a man’s head still okay when hit by a full can of Coke?
A: Because it was a soft drink.
Q: What did the magnet say to the other magnet?
A: I find you very attractive!
Q: What stays in one corner but travels around the world?
A: A stamp.
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Q: Why do pirates not know the alphabet?
A: They always get stuck at “c.”
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Q: What is white when it’s dirty and black when it’s clean?
A: A chalkboard.
Q: Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own?
A: Because it’s two-tired.
Q: How do you create light by using water?
A: Clean the windows!
Q: What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?
A: They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.
Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A: “It’s pasture bedtime.”
Q: What did one ocean say to another ocean?
A: Nothing. It just waved.
Q: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
A: Because they are suckers.
Q: What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
A: Nobody knows.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.