Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: Why don’t actors deserve a pay-raise?
A: Because they only play.
Q: Why did she change her iPhone account name to Titanic?
A: Because it wasn’t syncing.
Q: “Dad, how do I look?”
A: With Your Eyes”.
Q: What shoes do linguists wear?
Q: “Dad, your glass of juice is empty. Do you want another one?”
A: “Why would I want two empty glasses?”
Q: What did a beautiful blonde say to the banker who keeps on hitting her?
A: Better leave me a loan.
Q: Why is a math teacher never happy?
A: Because he has a lot of problems to solve.
Q: Why you should never tell a chemistry joke?
A: Because you might get a reaction.
Q: What part of a car is always exhausted?
A: The wheels. They are always tired.
Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log on.
Q: What’s the longest word in the English language?
A: “Smiles,” because there is a mile between the first and last letters.
Q: What birds are found in Portugal?
Q: What kind of photos do teeth take?
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.
Q: What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?
A: A father-in-law.
Q: When would girls want a man’s company?
A: When he owns it.
Q: Why shouldn’t you trust Atoms?
A: Because they make up everything.
Q: Why did the doctor quit his business only after a month?
A: Because he didn’t have enough patience.
Q: Why are entrepreneurs inspired by track runners?
A: They get over every hurdle in their way.
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Q: Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It’s okay. He woke up.
Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A: “You’re too young to smoke.”