200 Best Clean Jokes

Joke 26

Q: What are a married man’s two greatest assets?

A: Closed mouth and an open wallet.

Joke 27

Q: How do you make sure your message is delivered fast to many people?

A: Tell a woman “It’s secret, don’t tell anyone”.

Joke 28

Q: What’s the difference between men and government bonds?

A: Bonds mature.

Joke 29

Q: What worse than finding out your wife’s got cancer?

A: Finding out it is curable.

Joke 30

Q: What did one invisible man say to the other? 

A: “Long time no see.” 

Joke 31

Q: “Who stole my Microsoft Copy?” 

A: “I didn’t, you have my word.” 

Joke 32

Q: What’s the difference between ignorance and indifference? 

A: I don’t know and I don’t care! 

Joke 33

Q: Why do people don’t like Pizza Jokes? 

A: Because it’s way too cheesy. 

Joke 34

Q: How do you know your girlfriend Is getting fat?

A: She fits into your wife’s clothes.

Joke 35

Q: Where do birds meet for coffee? 

A: In a nest-café! 

Joke 36

Q: What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight?

A: A power failure.

Joke 37

Q: Why Ireland’s capital is the fastest growing city. 

A: Every year it’s Dublin. 

Joke 38

Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?

A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

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Joke 39

Q: Why you never see  penguins in Great Britain 

A: Because they’re afraid of Wales!

Joke 40

Q: Why did Stalin only write in lowercase? 

A: Because he hated capitalism. 

Joke 41

Q: What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark? 

A: “Do not consume if seal is broken.” 

Joke 42

Q: Why was a guy fired from the keyboard factory? 

A: He wasn’t putting in enough shifts. 

Joke 43

Q: Why do successful boxers date a pretty girl? 

A: Because she is a knockout. 

Joke 44

Q: How does a man show he’s planning for the future?

A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Joke 45

Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? 

A: “Where’s popcorn?” 

Joke 46

Q: What does a cloud do when it gets an itch? 

A: It finds the nearest skyscraper. 

Joke 47

Q: Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? 

A: I heard he couldn’t control his pupils! 

Joke 48

Q: What do you call a cow that fell in a hole? 

A: A holey cow! 

Joke 49

Q: What’s the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf? 

A: Where, wolf? 

Joke 50

Q: Why can’t the bank manager ride a bike anymore? 

A: He lost his balance. 

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